


The Cliff

by thekatthatbarks



Series: Shikasaku Week 2020 [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Day Six, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Romance, ShikaSaku Week 2020, like air in my lungs (I need you)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: “What’s it like to be in love?”“What makes you think I know what that’s like?”“Haven’t you been in love? I vividly remember you fawning after Sasuke for about ten years."“That wasn’t what being in love feels like."“Then, humor me, what do you think being in love feels like?”“I think falling in love… feels like falling.”
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru
Series: Shikasaku Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679083
Comments: 20
Kudos: 196





	The Cliff

“What’s it like to be in love?”

Sakura snorted and looked down at the man lying beside her against a tree log with the fire at his feet. “What makes you think I know what that’s like?”

Shikamaru had his eyes closed with his arms behind his head but peeked an eye at her. “Haven’t you been in love? I vividly remember you fawning after Sasuke for about ten years. You even dated after the war.”

“Yeah, _fawning_.” Sakura leaned back against the log, her eyes watching the fire dance in front of them. “That wasn’t what being in love feels like. Just some puppy love. We quickly realized that after a month of dating.”

Shikamaru hummed and then shrugged, closing his eyes again. “Then, humor me, what do you think being in love feels like?”

Sakura held back a chuckle, glancing at him. Campfires during a mission had an odd way of bringing out the most personal conversations as well as the weirdest ones. They sometimes reminded her of what you would whisper to your friend in the middle of a night during a sleepover.

Still, she hadn’t expected that kind of question from Shikamaru.

Sakura thought about the kinds of loves she’d had over her life. Her childhood friendship with Ino that had shattered only to be put back together like kintsugi years later. Puppy love with Sasuke that grew into something that suited them so much more. It was similar to the bond she had with Naruto, but still different. Though they all considered each other best friends, she knew in her heart she was closer to Naruto, that they had something that ran a little deeper. He was probably the closest she’d ever been to being in love, but her heart had never felt the need to cross over that line between friendship and romance.

She thought about her parents, a thin bond because of how distant they were but still strong because at the end of the day, they loved each other even though they didn’t really talk. The respect and love she had for Tsunade that made her look up to her but also worry after her. The love she had for Kakashi because while he hadn’t been the best sensei to her, he had tried his best and she knew he cared deeply about her.

She thought about the man next to her; a friend she’d always had but hadn’t grown close to until her twenties.

“I think falling in love… feels like falling,” Sakura finally said in a soft but sure voice.

Shikamaru snorted next to her and she laughed. “No, wait, really. Hear me out.”

Her eyes followed the smoke climbing into the air only to disappear between the branches above them. “Back home, there’s this waterfall that Ino and I like to go to when it gets too hot or we finally both have a day off. We always climb to the top of it and jump into the water below. It must be about fifty feet up. It still scares me at times, but I always have a smile when my feet leave the edge.”

She could feel his eyes on her, but he didn’t say anything. Sakura shifted to lay down, resting her head against the log and clasping her hands on her stomach as she looked up to the stars between the leaves. “I think it feels like that. The seconds it takes your feet to leave the ground are so slow, so drawn out, so scary. But then you leap, and you _fall_. It has this weird way of feeling like it last forever but is also incredibly short. It makes you lose your breath and scream with joy, your veins pumping with adrenaline. Then, you hit the water and all you know is _water_. It’s all there is; the bubbles above you, the waves your body creates, the water rushing around you. Your body adjusts its temperature to suit it. Your lungs burn in their search for air. It’s incredible. And then you swim to the surface to break for air. And that breath, that _first_ breath, it’s something. I don’t know what, but it’s _something_. And the water clings to your eyelashes and drips from your hair, your skin _soaks_ in it. And… you look back up at the cliff and all you can think about is _falling again_.”

Sakura didn’t know what made words continue to spill from her lips, but something did, and she felt herself continue. She didn’t think she’d ever been in love, but in a weird way, she felt like she _knew_. She felt like she could describe the feeling, barely able to give it a name.

“I think being in love isn’t very different. It has the same tell signs a crush might, hearts racing and blushing cheeks. But I also think it has this _content_ to it. Like falling into someone’s arms knowing they’ll always catch you. Coming home on a cold day to sit by the fire, wrapped up in a blanket. The sound of someone’s voice relaxing that tension in your shoulders you hadn’t even realized was there. Just the assurance of having someone at your back, someone to come home to. I think it feels like sitting by a fire. Warm, inviting, comforting. But if you’re not careful and you trip, it’ll consume you, leaving burns across your skin, a reminder you’ll always have.”

Sakura’s voice became softer near the end, the night almost stealing the words with how quiet she had spoken. But Shikamaru had been listening to her, his eyes on her lips as they moved, speaking feelings she didn’t even know she had into the cool air.

Shikamaru replied quietly a moment after she finished when he was sure she wouldn’t say any more. He cleared his throat, his voice low. “Yeah, I think it feels a lot like that.”

***

“Sakura, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Sakura’s head shot up at the words, her lips parted, and tongue raised to reply but with no sound coming out.

Shikamaru was leaning against the door to her office as casually as if he was inviting her out to have lunch with him. His hands were in his pockets, a small smile on his face as he looked at her.

Sakura felt like they locked eyes for hours in the time it took her to remember how to think. A medic ran down the hall behind Shikamaru and the sound of her footsteps seemed to snap her out of it.

“You – you _what_?” Sakura asked him eloquently. She felt like she wasn’t even there, like she was watching someone else’s life play out.

Shikamaru sighed and leaned off the doorway but didn’t come any more into her office. He still had that smile on his lips, but instead of being nervous it almost looked _relieved_? “Sorry, probably should’ve started with a hello or something.” _Smartass._ “I said, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Sakura couldn’t take her eyes off his, still completely taken aback. She didn’t think she’d ever felt her heart pounding so hard in her ears before, it was like she was going deaf. _Where the hell is all this coming from?_

“Where the hell is all this coming from?”

Shikamaru snorted and raised an eyebrow at her. Sakura shook her head and finally managed to look away from him, realizing how insensitive that sounded. “Sorry, it’s just…” Her eyes begged her to go back to his face and she obliged. Her voice felt so small yet so loud in her tiny office. “Are you sure?”

He nodded and she watched as something softened in his expression. “Yeah, I am.”

Sakura looked down to her hands on her desk, at chipped nail polish and pale scars. _Why?_ Her mouth forced words to come out even if she had no idea what to say. “Well, I – but – “ _Apparently, it didn’t matter if they made sense or not._

His warm chuckle brought her eyes back to him and he gave her a shrug. “You don’t have to say anything, Sakura. I came here to tell you because I thought you should know. Not because I wanted a reply.”

Sakura opened her mouth to reply anyway and he stepped back into the hallway with a small wave. “I’ll see you later.”

Sakura felt numb as she watched his ponytail disappear from sight. She let him go even though she felt like she shouldn’t. But she didn’t know what to _say_.

_Shikamaru was falling in love with her?_

***

He didn’t mention it again, acting completely normal the next time she saw him. Sakura tried her best to do the same, still having no idea what to think about the whole thing. But she was too self-conscious about everything and started to wonder if it was only her or if he was teasing her. 

“Sakura-chan…?” Naruto’s voice dragged her back to their conversation and her head snapped back to him, having been distracted by Shikamaru taking out his ponytail to fix it up again.

“Yes?”

Naruto gave her an odd look and waved the scroll in front of her. He chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “You gonna take the scroll?”

Sakura blushed and grabbed the scroll, seeing Shikamaru hide a smile behind his hand out of the corner of her eye. “Right.”

She read over the scroll as she tried to get a handle on herself, but Naruto had already explained most of it. She looked back to him after a minute. “Well, then, I’m going to – “

“Sakura-chan, are you alright?”

It was Shikamaru’s voice and Sakura looked over at his easy smile. She fought back a glare and smiled back. “Yes, Shikamaru.”

“You sure?”

She hummed in reply and tore her eyes back to Naruto, who was looking at her like he was trying to figure something out. Before he could, she told him, “I’ll go gather my team and head out then.”

He nodded and Sakura escaped the room, feeling heat rise on her cheeks.

***

_“I came here to tell you because I thought you should know. Not because I wanted a reply.”_

Sakura groaned as his voice drifted through her head again and buried her face into her pillow, debating if a muffled scream would scare her neighbors.

“ _I thought you should know.”_

_Why?_

_Why_ should she know if he didn’t expect her to _do_ anything about it? He hadn’t acted any differently either. He hadn’t asked her out on a date, hadn’t tried to kiss her, hadn’t even reminded her. He was being so _unfair_.

Sakura wouldn’t deny that there was an attraction there. She also wouldn’t deny that she’d already felt something for him before he came into her office with a love confession spilling from his lips like red wine on white tile. But he had thrown her off before she had even worked out her own feelings and now, they were a complete mess.

She took a deep breath and let it out as she turned on her back, looking out the window by her bed. The sky was clear, and she could already hear Shikamaru complaining about there being no clouds to look at through the windows of the Hokage office. It made her smile despite how annoyed she was at him.

She sighed and sat up in her bed, combing her fingers through her hair. She said she was annoyed at him, but she really wasn’t. She was just _confused_ and a little terrified if she was being honest. She didn’t want to jump into anything if she didn’t have a firm enough grasp of her feelings, especially with Shikamaru being so sure of his own he’d already gone and told her. She knew he’d told her he hadn’t wanted a reply, because he wanted her to think about it and hadn’t wanted to pressure her. He’d just wanted to get that weight off his chest, and she couldn’t be mad at him about it when he was being so patient with her.

She thought about that night by the campfire, about the waterfall.

She was already at the edge of the cliff, she just had to decide whether to jump or not.

***

No one thought anything of it when Shikamaru came up behind her and pressed against her back to place a bottle of sake in front of her at the table. They looked just like friends and it was perfectly normal for him to buy her a drink on one of their nights out. But they didn’t think to pay attention to how he leaned in close to her ear, how her breath hitched in her chest as he spoke in a low voice, “You know I hadn’t expected you to turn into a blushing mess after I told you that.”

Sakura leaned back into him, catching his knowing smirk and narrowing her eyes at him. “I have _not_ turned into a _blushing mess_.”

He chuckled and sat in the seat beside her, his knee knocked against hers at the crowded table. He poured her a cup as the rest of their friends shook with laughter at a story Kiba was telling. The loudness of the bar felt muffled to her as she raised the cup to her lips, her eyes on Shikamaru’s. They were dark, filled with emotions she didn’t have the time to decipher. But she could see that deep affection there and it tightened around her chest like a noose.

A part of her warned they probably shouldn’t have this conversation here, surrounded by people who knew them too well with keen hearing. But rational thought left her, and it seemed it did for Shikamaru too.

His voice was quiet as he propped an elbow on the table and leaned his head in his hand. “I also didn’t want you to start avoiding me.”

The hurt that slipped into his voice cut at her and she shook her head, her eyes picking a crack in the wooden table to stare at. “I haven’t been avoiding you. I just needed some space to think.”

“I didn’t ruin anything, did I?”

He sounded so small and Sakura’s eyes went back to him to see a nervous smile. She leaned towards him, a hand on his knee. “No. No, Shikamaru, you didn’t.”

He nodded, looking relieved and took a sip from his own drink, glancing away from her. Sakura swallowed thickly as she thought about how beautiful he looked under the warm light of the bar. He didn’t ask her what she had thought about, if she had decided anything.

Sakura felt the words tumble out of her mouth without her permission. “Have you been holding back?”

He looked back to her and raised an eyebrow. Sakura repeated the question, “Have you been holding yourself back all this time? Waiting for me?”

His lips parted to answer, and he hesitated before saying, “Sakura – “

“I don’t want you to hold back anymore.” Sakura was more aware of her hand still on his knee, her fingers curling into the fabric of his pants as her heart forgot to beat in a steady rhythm.

He laughed softly, shaking his head. His voice dropped an octave as he leaned closer to her so no one else could hear. “What’re you trying to say, Sakura? Do you want me to start seducing you or something?”

Pink dusted her cheeks and she watched as he smiled in response. She bit her lip and looked away from him, wrapping her fingers around her sake cup. “I… just don’t want you to hold yourself back.”

Her heart pounded in her chest in the seconds before he replied.

“I won’t.”

She felt his hand cover hers under the table and Sakura turned her hand up so he could lace his fingers through hers. His grip on her kept her steady at the same time it made her dizzy.

***

Sakura debated knocking on the door even as the guard eyed her curiously. It _was_ lunch time, surely, he could step away for a moment…

She bit her lip and finally knocked on the door. Naruto’s voice called out a second later to come in. She took a steadying breath before turning the handle.

Naruto looked up at her with a smile as he marked over a scroll in front of him. “Hey, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura smiled back and walked over to him, reaching across the desk to straighten his hat that had gone askew. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Hey, Naruto-sama. Not overworking yourself, are you?”

He shrugged with a small grin. “Trying not to. Was there something you needed?”

Sakura leaned back and glanced at Shikamaru who’d been watching her with a quiet smile. “I was going to ask Shikamaru if he’d had lunch yet.”

Naruto chuckled and answered for him, something almost teasing in his voice. “He hasn’t.”

Sakura smiled and looked back to Naruto. “Mind if I steal him away then?”

Naruto waved a hand. “Go for it.”

Sakura looked over as Shikamaru stood up from his desk and came over to her with a smile. “Well, since it’s already been decided for me.”

She rolled her eyes at him, her heart skipping a beat as he slid his hand to her lower back. She waved to Naruto as they walked out of the office. “Later, Naruto!”

They were quiet as they strolled into the street and then, Shikamaru asked her, “Not that I’m complaining, but why the surprise visit?”

Sakura leaned into him, wrapping her arm around his and resting her head against his shoulder. “I just wanted to see you.” She closed her eyes as she thought about the surgery that had lasted four hours only to end with a sobbing widow in her arms. She let out a breath and opened her eyes again, telling him quietly, “I had a rough morning.”

He moved his arm to slip around her waist, holding her close to him. Sakura felt a kiss press into her hair. His voice was soft. “We can go to that sweet shop you like after we have lunch.”

Sakura laughed lightly, relaxing in his hold as she wrapped an arm around him. “Okay.”

***

Sakura hadn’t meant to start a fight in the middle of the street.

_But she did._

“I _hate_ when you do that!”

Shikamaru huffed, his hands in his pockets. “Sakura, it’s really not – “

“What? That _big of a deal_?” She crossed her arms over her chest, her voice rising as her eyebrow twitched angrily. “You are such an _asshole_! Is it too much to ask for you to come see me when you’re injured?”

“Sakura, I was _fine_.”

Sakura had a half a mind to hoist him up by his vest and throw him into a wall and see if he was _fine_ then. She pointed a finger at him. “A long gash across your chest is not _fine_! I cannot _believe_ you let _Naruto_ be the one to tell me! And you just let some guard with _zero medical training_ stitch it up for you, slap a bandage on it, and call it good. And didn’t even bother to _tell_ me?”

“It wasn’t that – “

Sakura interrupted him, waving a hand angrily, her chest shaking. “No. I’m done. I don’t want to hear any more.”

She turned on her heel and started to walk away from him when she felt her muscles stop as she was about to take another step. Sakura’s jaw clenched as she looked down at her foot going back to the ground against her own will. “ _Shikamaru_ ,” she warned.

He released her a second later and Sakura conceded, crossing her arms over her chest and remaining still. She knew he wasn’t going to let her walk away from him and guilt crawled up her throat that she’d let her anger push her to. He came up behind her, putting his hands on her arms. “Sakura, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to worry.”

Sakura closed her eyes as she felt tears start to build up. She shook her head, feeling her shoulders start to shake. She hated how her voice cracked. “I was being stupid and thought you wouldn’t get hurt on a diplomatic mission. I… didn’t like the reminder.”

Shikamaru moved in front of her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him. Sakura leaned her head against his chest, hugging him tightly. “You’re not an asshole either. I’m sorry.”

He chuckled and Sakura felt more tears run down her cheeks. She really should be used to this by now, she’d been a shinobi for over ten years and fought in a war. Shikamaru pinched her chin and brought her face up. He smiled at her as his thumb moved to wipe her tears away. “You’re going to ruin your makeup crying over me.”

Sakura glared at him without any heat and he leaned down to kiss the tears away on her cheekbone. Affection welled up in her chest and it was almost hard to breathe. Sakura moved to kiss his cheek and then buried her face into the crook of his neck, holding him close.

“I’ll tell you next time.”

“Thank you.”

She could finally breathe.

***

Sakura’s feet dragged her to her office, thinking about how much she couldn’t wait until she could take her coat off, go home, and sink into a warm bath. She sighed as she opened her door and then paused as she stepped into the small room.

Sakura’s chest felt tight, a smile tugging at her tired lips as she walked over to the bouquet of flowers on her desk. There was a card propped up next to it and Sakura grabbed it gently, recognizing the handwriting immediately – _not that she’d had any doubt about who they was from_.

Three simple words were scrawled across it.

_“I love you.”_

Sakura laughed lightly, setting the card against a photo frame of Tsunade and Shizune on her desk. She picked up the flowers and inhaled them, thinking back to the man that had leaned against her door months before telling her the same thing.

***

Sakura groaned as he took another one of her pieces. “Damn it.”

Shikamaru chuckled and consoled her, “You still have a chance to beat me. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, shut up.” Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, fighting back a smile. “I won’t let you psych me out.”

He snorted and Sakura leaned back after moving another piece. Her eyes went to Shikamaru’s face as he thought about his next move – _well, his move in another dozen turns_. She liked the concentration of his brow, how his lips twisted as he thought. She laid her leg out beside the table to knock her foot against his knee, smiling at the turn of his lips as he glanced at her. “And _I_ won’t let you distract me, Sakura.”

Sakura laughed, her stomach twisting as he brought a hand down to wrap around her ankle, his thumb stroking the skin there. 

They’d been doing this more, spending more time together in the comfort of their homes; cooking dinner, playing shoji, watching a movie. Sakura enjoyed it more than she expected to, selfishly wanting him to herself with no one else around to be sharing in the smiles he only gave her.

He finished the game in a few more moves and Sakura huffed pretending to be annoyed. She playfully glared at him and he leaned back on his hands with a smile. “You’ll beat me someday, Sakura-chan. You just need more _practice_.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, her heart racing in her chest at his beautiful smile, the dimple in his cheek. Without even thinking, she moved the shoji table out of the way and moved towards him. He raised an eyebrow at her but before he could say anything she had crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips against his.

His arms wrapped around her to pull her impossibly closer as he kissed her back. Sakura sighed against him and moved a hand to his shoulder to push him down, chasing his lips as she did so. Shikamaru laughed and pulled her down with him to the floor.

***

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Sakura looked up at the sound of his voice, barely audible over the rushing waterfall. She smiled but didn’t move from her spot, her legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. “I was just thinking.”

“About me?” He teased with a raised eyebrow as he walked towards her.

Sakura chuckled and answered honestly, “Yes.”

His smile was almost nervous as he stopped beside her, looking over the clear water below them. She wondered if he was thinking about that night by the campfire. “Yeah? And what were you thinking about me, Sakura?”

Sakura smiled and looked out over the edge, almost able to see the tops of the trees from this high up.

Her chest felt light and she understood why Shikamaru had said it all those months ago.

“About how I’m falling in love with you.”

She could feel his eyes on her and looked up to see that warm smile of his. She stood up and he’d tugged her to him a second later, his lips welcoming against hers. She kissed him for a moment and then stepped out of his arms. She grabbed his hand and pulled him near the edge.

“Jump with me.”

She relished in the sound of his laugh as he looked at her in surprise. “Sakura, we’re fully clothed.”

“We don’t have to be.” She glanced at him with a teasing smile as she unzipped the side of her skirt.

He sighed but Sakura caught his smile as he slipped off his sandals.

She held her hand out to him a minute later and he laced their fingers together. She met his warm eyes, filled with a deeper affection than she’d seen that night in the bar. Her heart beat out of rhythm and she raised an eyebrow, excitement bubbling in her chest.

“On the count of three?”

He nodded and squeezed her hand as they stepped closer to the edge.

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three!"


End file.
